February 2012
14 posts
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January 2012
30 posts
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finally starting to feel normal again.
only took me 8 days. ugh. still no appetite though. i’m just waiting for the monster to attack. i’ve already had cravings for such weird things, but since i can’t really fully taste… what’s the point.
also.. ovulation sucksss.
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136.5
can’t taste anything. for all i know, my apple could be poisoned right now. trying really hard to eat, but my attempts don’t work because i’m just not hungry. i’m sure this will all turn around eventually and when i can taste, i’ll go on a crazy feeding sesh. but for right now… i’m just too damn tired to care.
this weight thing is ridiculous. i...
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still sick.
want to work out want to work out!!!
alas, i woke with a fever this morning and so much sinus pressure. i’ve been laid up on the couch all day. and my appetite has suffered. i’m not hungry. i can’t taste anything. and i’m lazier than hell so i’m not even attempting to make healthy stuff… which means i’ve hardly been eating.
also weighed myself today...
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water water water water
i’m surprised my pores aren’t just leaking water. ew. but seriously. i’m trying to kick whatever sickness in my body OUT and this seems like a good way. i’ve already had a cup of tea, am planning on another when i get home, and have taken 24 hour sudafed and some robitussin (tastes like absolute shit!). please sickness… GO AWAY.
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Life's About Changes: Eating Disorders And The... →
pearlbones-and-pirouettes:
In graduate school, we have this thing we call “imposter syndrome” — the gnawing fear that you don’t really belong there, that you don’t have what it takes, that you somehow slipped through the cracks in the admissions process and are actually an intellectual embarrassment, an incompetent fraud who knows jack-all about anything — and that sooner or later, like the...
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sick. again.
i’m sick. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, but my head is killing me, i hardly sleep at night because i just cough every minute, and i wake up with so much mucus, and this morning i woke up with no voice. it’s been like this since monday. and it’s pissing me the fuck off. i can’t work out like this… i can hardly function like this. i don’t...
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learning.
every day, i learn something new about myself in regards to food and exercise. what did i learn yesterday? well, morning workouts (although convenient) don’t really benefit me. i was hungry all day yesterday. no matter what i ate, or how much i ate, i was still starving. this feeling led to bad behaviors in the evening because at that point, i was just so damn hungry. i also felt kind...
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restriction/diet
yes, i know certain things are bad for me. yes, i know there are better alternatives.
but dammit, if i restrict myself and tell myself that i can never have cheese or goldfish crackers or chocolate, i am going to rebel so hard and binge with wild abandon. so while i love all these posts pointing out healthy alternatives, i’m happy i have the knowledge of what restriction and the word...
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well, that was a nice binge.
PMS + six hours of sleep = horrible cake binge.
oh well. tomorrow is another day… and that cake was fucking good.
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nothing like getting the victoria's secret bikini...
but hey! hey! you are a 5’3” girl. sorry, but you will never look like a 5’8” model. so stop. stop comparing yourself to others.
(this post has been brought to you by two huge cups of coffee and six hours of sleep. carry on.)
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made it to the gym.
felt amazing. why was i dreading it so much?
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ugh, can i get my period yet?
my boobs feel like they’re going to explode, i’m bloated, i’m hungry for chocolate, and it’s absolute torture to get out of bed in the morning. i’m literally forcing myself to go work out at 7:30ish but i feel like it won’t even happen. but it must! i try so hard to not be too strict with myself, but if i don’t work out tonight, i definitely won’t...
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137.5
Wow. There’s nothing better than stepping on the scale and being relieved at the number that pops up. I didn’t do too much damage between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, but I thought I had completely blown it. Plus, I’m about to get my period any minute which means I’m carrying a lot of water weight.
Happy! This keeps me feeling so motivated and great.
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well... i fell off the wagon.
christmas eve to new year’s eve turned into one giant sunday for me. i fell right into ‘the last supper’ trap and gave in to so many unhealthy eating habits. well, today was a new day and a new year, and while my eating habits weren’t perfect, they were far better than the way i had been eating this past week.
it’s time to get serious. i have six months to get in...
