why would you want me?
confidence has always been an issue of mine. how can it not be? i’ve struggled with my weight and looks and overal confidence since the age of twelve. and it’s all i can do lately but scream at any guy who hits on me, ‘WHY?’. I’m serious. As much as I should love my body and love myself, I don’t. it’s a struggle to even pick out five things i like...
i've been terribly depressed lately.
last week was great; i worked out hard and was in an elated mood. monday rolled around and i could feel the waves of depression beginning to over take me. sometimes this just happens the week before my period and other times it doesn’t. i’ve been ravenous… chowing down on pepperoni pizza at every chance possible and loading up on cheese, cheese, and more cheese. my cravings...
i ate 1100 calories today. healthy, good calories. ahh, i’m so proud of myself. usually i don’t count because it’s triggering for me, but i decided to today just for curiosity’s sake. it really makes me happy. speaking of happy, i’ve been oozing happiness lately. i’m usually a pessimistic, unhappy person so this is a pretty huge change for me. i’m...
it's beautiful out!!
my afternoon hours were cancelled so i’m going to eat some lunch now and head out for a walk/run at about three or four. i’m so excited. it’s been so long since i’ve been outside and not in the gym. yes spring! yes oncoming summer!
life without chocolate
how many weeks has it been since i’ve given up chocolate (the chocolate found in luna and cliff bars excluded)? i don’t even really know and am too lazy to count. i’m not going to lie and say it’s been easy. i binged one night because i wanted chocolate so badly but wouldn’t let myself have it; i’ve fantasized about having chocolate; i’ve replaced...
just want to sleep. feeling so achey and weird...
probably getting sick again. it really wouldn’t surprise me.